So many things... So little time....

It's been a while since I wrote my last blog... Last night when I couldn't fall asleep after toilet-midnight-call, I've been thinking a lot... Like A LOT. About my life, things goin' on with it, my mum, my tantrum Orange Cat who refused to get back to sleep after he saw a baby lizard on the wall, about my partner, my future and most of all about my family....


Lately my mum has been sick..... I wish I could care for her more, but while I am here, it's quite hard to go back my hometown every weekend. But I did try my best though. I spent about a week plus taking care of her and off course my dad too.. It came to my senses that my folks just lonely...... Being the youngest in my family truly instilled me with family values.... It brings me back to the past where I was the only one around when all the siblings all over the country, fullfilled their obligations as someone else's wife, husband, mother and father, and also education calls. I was there with them. Day and nite. For the first 18 years of my life I shared everything with them........


I was really a spoilt child back then. Being alone in the house with mum and dad trying hard to give me anything I could possibly asked was a major success to me. While they kept nag me about schools and stuffs, but I was pretty obidient and bright child. I still remember how big my mum grin was when I was up and down taking my achievement presents at school. She proudly said to her friends, she out of hands to bring all the presents back home. While my dad being a big boss after all, pleasurely told me my School Principal proud to have me in his school. "Another concrete reason to ask 'em more things"-like a silet prayer, I kept telling myself that.



My mum and dad pretty much proud of me. After I continued my tertiary studies in local Uni, they can't wait for me to finally graduate and be someone in the future. Their last daughter not only gave them a glimpse of promising future but such happiness for them in their golden age. And I was so proud of myself, not only for my achievement but a happiness I brought to them. That is the least I can do for everything they've done for me all these while...



Looking at my mum when she was deeply asleep with little strength left because of her sickness not only bring tears to me but I came to realization how much she loves me all these while... Am I her favourite? To her, I don't know, but my dad's is (I think so! ;P) but I know I am special. Being a softie as she is, she was hardly raised her voice to me, never even a pinch on my tiny thigh when she can't handle my naughtiness anymore. As stubborn as I can be, she always try to give me to the almost impossibles... She always told me how different I look from the rest, and I know how she secretly stare at me when I watched tv, did my home work or every other things which she tought I didn't know she was staring.... And how funny she can be when I looked at her while she was staring, she quickly look away or pretend to sleep!... My funny mum..... When I am a mum myself, all I wanna do is to raise my child the way she did, with a little harmless corrections here and there, I know I'll be fine.....................



Dad, being a school teacher and Village Headman, he can be strict as he can be. When he raised his voice, we kept our mouth shut and as timid as barn mouse, we kept ourselves in the room with closed door. Being specky myslef (thanks to my bad habit of reading in the dark when I was young!!), you can't imagine how many times I broke my reading glass. Well, averagely twice a year I guess! ;P Off course he nagged me as long as he can nag. He nagged about so many things-money, school, my carelessness, etc, and being brat myself, I couldn't care less back then. What I know was when he brings me Optician, I'll choose the most stylo spectacles available regardless the price. So off course, he nagged me again when we were back home. Because of my achievements in school and being a hardworking student, I think it make up all those. So dad literally stopped nagging and motivate me even more. Being a positive person myself, my dad should get all the credits. He never stops motivate me and I am for I am today because of him, his guidance and motivations were the core of my very being.....



When ages catching up on them, so many things, so little time to do things for them... But I know it'll never be too late.... At least half of things I've fullfilled, and the rest of list, I pray I can do it sooner...... With so much love I give and continue to give them, I just hope they know that my love for them is true, sincere and uncondition................

Mak, Ayah..... Adek sayang mak ayah very very much..............................................